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Dragon Soul: From the off tanks perspective.

March 25, 2012

The raid named after a fancy rock.
     My fellow off tanks.  Dragon soul will be forever remembered as the pre Mists of Pandaria vacation.  If you have a pulse, a taunt,  and a decent DPS set you cannot fail.  I know many off tanks yearn for the day they can replace the off in their title with the word main.  I say forget it.  Follow the path of least resistance enjoy the stress free life of Dragon Soul while you still can.

     Morchok:  How fitting that the first boss in the raid named after a rock is a rock.  The off tanks job in this fight is to hit the N button activate your second spec, and in my case summon my ghoul who hopefully will have gobbler somewhere in his name.  I try to stand right on top of our pali main tank so I can soak the double damage,  but at this point I don’t pay that much attention anymore.  I just try not to embarres myself on the DPS meter.

      Warlord Zonozzzzzz:
           Simillar strategy to the one I use for the big dumb rock.  Summon cryptgobbler your trusty mindless minion (turn yourself into a kitten of death.  Or whatever it is you do in your spare time.) and get busy attacking the rear end of General Vezax’s incompetant brother.  I love this fight because my blow things up cooldowns really shine.  So my numbers aren’t horrible, and I get to watch the raids finger wigglers and animal lovers run around like a group of hens.

     Yorsajh the Unsleeping:
          Put the minion away folks it’s time to put your tanking pants back on.  A three stack tank swap is coming and waving his hands above his head.  That’s it if you don’t have aggro when the rainbow globs are out go smack one around and come back in.  If you got a black slime you can try to gather them up, but they hit about as hard as my wife and die pretty fast.  That’s about it.

      Hagara:
         What is she? An orc or a tauren i can’t tell.  I suppose that shows how closely I look at some boss models.  My money is on orc but she could be a dwarf who knows.  All I know is she only takes one tank so its back to unholy and tombkisser the affectionate ghoul who can’t survive a little lightning damage.  She makes you run in circles clockwise. Always clockwise.  Forcing us to run the other way would have made this fight to difficult for my raid team. 

Ultraxion Trash:
   This seems like a boss fight because there is always a 25 percent chance we will mess it up.

Ultraxion:
     This is the first fight where I really feel danger.  This boss not only wants to kill you he can.  Except you get a button to push so he can’t.  Fading light push the swirly button.  Starts casting “murder the whole raid” push the swirly button. Unless its your turn to soak Hour of Twighlight.  In that case push the Icebound Fortitude button.  Rinse and repeat.

Blackhorn:
      The only tauren baderer than me.  He is big and bad and has an awesome looking beat stick.  Every time he dies I see it laying there in his cold dead fingers, but rigermortis sets in so fast my raid leader can never seem to pry it from his cold dead fingers and put it in my bag.  Tank an underling, any underling.  Then tank the opposite underling.  Kill the Sapper and stand in the purple smoke.  Then we tank Mr Blackhorn himself, and for the first time this whole raid there is stuff not to stand in.  ( the crap on the big dumb rock doesn’t count.)  Don’t stand in that stuff, taunt on 2 stacks of deveatate and you win.

Spine of Deathwing:
    The hardest part of this fight is restraining yourself from just jumping off the side of the ship before the cutscene that leads into it.  (Our raid teams other DK did this the first time we killed warmaster.  It will forever be one of the most surreal moments of this tier watching him jump to his death.)  My job is tanking the corrupted bloods and counting to 9.  That’s it sometimes I lose count but who can blame me.

Madness:
    Still to be completed.  Yeah yeah we haven’t killed madness yet. We have only pulled it twice, but I don’t foresee many hangups here with the nerf going to 15% on Tuesday.

   That’s it folks.  Off tanking has never been more relaxing.  Dragon Soul is truly the off tanks vacation in the frozen north.

Remember be patient with your ghouls.  They are simple creatures.
Bad T

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From → cataclysm

6 Comments
  1. I really loved reading this! It’s comical and True about what I see in our raids. Being off tank this expansion means “Get good DPS Gear please”.

    Can’t wait to read more. Welcome to the blogosphere!

    –Ashe

  2. battlechicken permalink

    LOL, “finger wigglers.” I have feathers, thank you very much! 😛

    Also, if your raid leader figures out how to get Blackhorn’s beat stick, can you send him to LFR on my DK to pry Gurthalak out of Deathwing’s…whatever the heck that thing is? >.<

  3. Yay Comments! The sword named after a murloc? yeah i cant get that to drop for me either. And who would have thought Death wings insanity was not caused by the old gods but by carrying 2 swords a dagger two staves and a mace in his skull for thousands of years.

  4. Welcome to blogging 🙂 Fabulous summary of the raid.

    You might want to try the anti-magic shell for soaking Hour of Twilight on Ultraxion. It’s more than enough even on heroic for a dk tank to soak the damage [In LFR the damage is low enough that you can even stay out as a dps and take virtually no damage with AMS up].

  5. LOL you make it sound so fun, now I want to try tanking!

    • It really is fun. And quite simple for off tanking. No fancy kiting or positioning just hold threat and don’t die (ie. Use your cooldowns

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